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 UC Personal Statement Prompts

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Pride




PostSubject: UC Personal Statement Prompts   Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:07 pm

Prompt #1 Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Prompt #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

anyone wanna share theirs? Waiting for my prompt 1 to get back so I can edit, starting prompt 2 >.<

Advice from Henna via Facebook:
Henna ॐ Sawhney:
Is this UC apps? If so, write about a hardship you overcame. Like something big. Moving schools is pretty good. Then talk about how your good traits are the reason you've succeeded, even in times of hardship. Just think about how to make yourself look good by how you learn and grow from hard experiences. This is advice to all you personal statement writers out there.
_________________
Walter Mack- Alumni '10
UC Merced
2/18/2010 - Infected with Jen Gebbie cooties at the Parent Info Night
7/13/09 R.I.P, Freedom
In man there exists great evil, yet in man there also lies the capacity for even greater good
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Pride




PostSubject: Re: UC Personal Statement Prompts   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:24 am

Prompt 1 Draft 2-

I closed my eyes and turned around as my mentor Jamie proceeded to euthanize the raccoon. He was beyond saving now. I knew this was a moment that would change me forever. What was supposed to be a simple day of cleaning cages and feeding animals instead became my first animal rescue. I wondered what my two classmates were feeling. This was must have been a strange first day for them. They were two volunteers that I recruited from school. Early that morning, we got to our mentor’s house only to rush out again within minutes. We had hopped into the car and drove about 2 blocks away into the front of a library. We met the animal care and control officer there and she briefed us. A young raccoon had gotten his legs stuck in a tree. We walked over to the terrified animal to find that his nose and paws had been rubbed raw from trying to untangle himself from the tree. He had been stuck there for some time. Slowly and carefully, we managed to pry his feet out of the tree and got him into a net. We drove back to Jamie’s house to look over the raccoon. Not having a wildlife center in San Francisco, Jamie was director of the San Francisco Rescued Orphan Mammals Program (SFROMP). It allowed her and other volunteers to transform parts of their houses so that it was suitable for injured wildlife to live in. Upon inspection, the raccoon was diagnosed with distemper, an infection curable in canines and felines, but lethal to wildlife, as they didn’t have the antibodies to fight it off. Sadly, the young animal had to be euthanized, but right then and there, as cliché as it sounds, I knew for a fact that working with animals was what I wanted to do for a living.

If I hadn’t transferred to my current school, Metropolitan Arts and Technology, with its dedicated teachers, I wouldn’t have had the chance to figure out what my dreams and goals were. Freshly transferred out a big high school and into a small one, I learned to appreciate the fact that we weren’t just a school, but something much greater. We were a community, a family. Junior year, it was that family of friends and teachers that encouraged me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, never rushing me, but always encouraging. To help us figure out what we wanted to do, one of my school’s graduation requirements was that by graduation, we had to have completed two sets of internships. For ten weeks, we got Wednesdays off to work at a workplace with a career we had an interest in. I was interested in working with animals, so naturally I looked for a vet clinic, but with no luck. None of the clinics had veterinarians that had the time.

With some more relentless searching, I finally secured a spot in the SFROMP. It was there that I was educated on wildlife, and my love for animals grew even more. None of this would have been possible without the support and dedication of my school.



Prompt 2 Draft 1-

“Walter should lead” said one of my group members. The others nodded. I smiled to myself. This would not have been possible a mere two years ago. The school transfer had completely changed me. I was a completely new person. I was more confident, outgoing, refined. I was a leader. “Let’s do this” I said.
A scene like this happens quite often for me now. This wasn’t always the case though. Freshman year, I was a wreck. I was a victim of cyber bullying from a person I once called a friend. He used my name to spread rumors about people throughout school and as a result, I was physically beaten over four times by groups of people. I was afraid, lost, and confused, until I came forward and told my parents. They transferred me out as soon as the year ended. After I had time to think about it, that sense of fear, being lost and confusion turned into rage.

I entered sophomore year upset. I was happy to get away from all the physical attacks, but I missed the friends that stood up for me. Early in the school year, a few kids in class were throwing markers at people. It was just playful foolishness, but I felt a need to intimidate, to show that I shouldn’t be messed with. As the fifth marker flew at me, I picked it up and threw it as hard as I could in their direction. I cursed and told them to stop, but this wasn’t enough for me. I walked towards them with my fists raised, and one of them laughed. This drove me off the edge. I advanced towards the one that laughed, and now he was angry too. He got up, and just before punches got thrown, I felt two arms grabbing me. It was a classmate, Rachel. I could have easily thrown her off, but by now I was in tears, because I knew that the one I wanted at that very moment to throttle wasn’t the one I was glaring at through wet eyes, but the kid who had turned on me a year ago. This was just me trying to get my anger out because I had been to afraid to do so before. As a result, we were both suspended, him for repeatedly disrupting class, and I for resorting to violence.

After my two day suspension was over, and I had time to calm down, we were brought into the office so we could apologize to each other. We did so, and later on, we even became friends. Slowly, but surely, my school, the teachers, and my friends reminded me of what I used to stand for: compassion. It was the care of my peers and the people around me that I learned to trust again, to love. I slowly changed from the quiet, reserved kid sitting at the back to the one that offered help whenever he could, whether it was needed or not. It was my patient, compassionate, but trenchant personality that drew people towards me for help. At the end of junior year, I joined the student leadership council and I gave a speech. At the end, my friend Ismael told me “You’re a leader. You’ve got to help run the school now that us seniors are leaving.” That short, but important piece of conversation has been stored forever into the database of my mind.
_________________
Walter Mack- Alumni '10
UC Merced
2/18/2010 - Infected with Jen Gebbie cooties at the Parent Info Night
7/13/09 R.I.P, Freedom
In man there exists great evil, yet in man there also lies the capacity for even greater good


Last edited by Pride on Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dachosen

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PostSubject: Re: UC Personal Statement Prompts   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:32 am

I came from a family that lived in Honduras, and that came to America to explore more opportunities to have a job and a better life for themselves. My parents grew up in the town called San Pedro Sula, my mother went to a bi-lingal school to learn English and a lot more Spanish so she can be prepared for coming to America one day. My father worked on a farm his whole life, went to school and when he is not working on the farm or going to school he would go to the capitol of Honduras to work and to get money to give to his parents so that they can buy food. When they grew up to their 20’s they decided to move to America to make something of themselves and to see if they can be independent. They used a pass to let them go to America and visit but they liked America so much that they did not want to leave so they stayed but they were not United States citizens but then after a while they got their papers and become United States citizens. My parents have three kids now and they take care of their kids a lot, I always asked my parents why the picked America over any other country and what they tell me is it the dream country. I agree what they say because at times I feel like I do not like America but by hearing the stories that my parents tell me I am most grateful about being a citizen because people in Honduras want to come to American so bad they will do anything to get here and it helped me realize that I have it good here I can be anything I want to be here. I went to a catholic school that I really disliked because I felt like I wasn’t really treated it the best respect in that school. I was bullied, had very few friends but I really like the fact that the teachers were really nice and taught me a lot of helpful things. Although that school wasn’t the best school to be at the time, I met really cool friends there that shape me to the person I am today. After I graduated from the catholic school; I came to a high school named Metro arts and technology, I am currently still a student at this school and is about to graduate. What the school is mainly about community, the school has shown me a lot about what community is about and how people in the school can all get along. We all go though the time where you think you’re alone and nobody understands what you are going though, sometimes even parents can’t even tell what’s wrong with you. I felt this way when I graduated from middle school and I had very little friends that I called my true friends, this was this one girl that changed me to be anything I wanted, gave me convince, taught me to always to look at the bright side of things. Always said to me that she believed in me I known her since the sixth grade and her named is Ashley Louise Archie she has always been there for me and never gave up on me even at times I have, she’s my best friend for that I am grateful. What I want more than anything I already have I can t ask for more, looking more into it I want to help people in my career. I decided to be a doctor because I feel like I can make a difference and change the way people think of me. I would like to say that my world has been shaped more from my friends and family than any other thing in this world, I could honestly say that I am happy for what I am and nothing in this world would ever can change me. I would say that my world anything is possible all you have to do is believe in yourself and never give up and you can have anything your hearts desires.
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Kennia

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PostSubject: Re: UC Personal Statement Prompts   Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:46 pm

omg both of you guys personal statements are really good!
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Tylol

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PostSubject: GAH   Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:59 am

HOMEWORK!
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Tylol

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PostSubject: Re: UC Personal Statement Prompts   Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:00 am

GAH, HOMEWORK!
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